10 Top Tips for Grooms

It's not the 1950's. Men have to do the work too!

2: Your speech: Firstly grooms, it is important to mention etiquette at this point. Obviously some things go without saying, I'm sure any chap is fully aware that saying how beautiful the bridesmaids are and then winking at the best man is a little crass. Quite equally, saying any of the following will definitely result in a strike against a groom's copy book.
"As everyone here knows, my wife dresses to kill.......unfortunately for me, she cooks that way as well." (welcome to the 1950's!)

As you toast your bride, dip your finger into your (white!) wine, touch your wife's dress and say wryly; "I'm looking forward to getting you out of those wet clothes!" (gag!)

"It's quite fitting that we took the vows of "for better or worse", cos she can't do any better, and I can't do any worse!" (sigh!)

So as you can hopefully see from the above statements, humour is about being original and subtle, avoiding all the slightly tasteless and naff jokes the internet has to offer. Finally and most importantly........ I do go to a lot of weddings where the groom doesn't say how wonderful his new wife is and how beautiful she looks. This should be done properly and not just by saying, "I'm sure you will all agree my wife looks bloody lovely and I bloody love her". Why not mention where you first met or when she agreed to your proposal of marriage. Some of your role within the groom's speech is to thank other peopl,e but your primary role is to thank your bride (and tell her you love her!). After all, she married you! (poor thing)

3 Choosing your best man and ushers: I'm not going to tell you who you should choose to be your best man and ushers but..... try and choose at least a couple of your best pals who are prepared to chip in and actually help on the day. When I photograph the family groups at a wedding I often use the ushers and the best man to round people up. Often the wedding can stall outside the church for half an hour with the bride and groom beset on all sides by well wishers when you need someone to get involved and jockey people along. I was at a wedding recently where a elderly member of the bride's family was taken ill during the wedding ceremony and the ushers quietly took him outside and phoned an ambulance. At no point did they disturb the service and one of them actually went to the hospital with the poor gent. Sterling work chaps (extra chocolate money for them).

4 Why not use wedding vouchers as a gift: If you are the type of couple who have been living in sin for a while (shocking....!) then the chances are you actually have a toaster and Breville sandwich maker, an exercise bike for hanging clothes on and the inevitable bread/ice-cream maker that so comprehensively fills up those cupboards. If this is the case and you are not sure what to ask for as gifts from your generous guests then why not ask for cintributions to your wedding. Basically all you need to do is imagine that the price of the photographer, honeymoon, car hire - is split between say 10-20-30 guests etc. Obviously you could do this for any luxury element of the wedding. A tip that might not be for everyone but worth a thought.

5: Romantic gestures: Now chaps, this may not be to everyone's taste so be brave and carry on. I often think that seeing as how the bride generally takes the reins in planning a wedding, it seems only fair that a gentleman come up with a romantic gesture. Whether this be a surprise gift or stunt (please, please no striptease) just something she won't be expecting to say how much she means to you. If you're a retiring flower who doesn't want to be seen to be 'all soppy' in front of his mates then may I suggest you leave it til the following morning to present your bride with her gift (stop sniggering at the back!)

6: The 300: Although many a groom has wished to re-create famous football moments throughout history at their wedding, there is no need to pick a whole team! Make it quality over quantity. And beyond the best man (or men), what do the rest do besides make for overcrowded wedding photos anyway? Bridesmaids and groomsman should be about equal in my perfect world of symmetry.

7: Don't be hungover: A gentleman would not organise his stag do for the night before the ceremony – you may not need your “beauty sleep” but think of your poor best man who can often sport a face that could repel his own mother resembles a welder's bench, buckling railway tracks with just one glance. Instead, plan some group activity, such as golf, a rubber of whist or tramp-baiting with your groomsmen as a way to relax before or on the morning of your wedding.

8: It's a Marathon not a Snickers!: Please chaps, do pace yourself as it will be a long day. Think of your wedding as a marathon, not a sprint. Although it seems to fly by, too often grooms who guzzle from the old hip flask on the way to the chapel may not have anything left in the tank when the reception really starts rolling. Aim to drink plenty of water in the morning and not to get merry till about 10pm.

9: What's the plan Stan?: Know the plan and running order of your wedding and use your ushers and best man to help that plan to work. Often a groom and his delightfully understanding bride can get stressed at their own wedding. I've seen rude vicars who are nasty to the bride and groom, guests that won't be seated as their food goes cold, guests refusing to be in family photos as they've had a family tiff!
When a couple plan for months, it can seem to take only one small thing to ruin it (at the time). This is where the ushers and the best man should cushion the couple from the worse of the woes and just carry on with the plan. Herding the lost sheep hither and thither, ensuring that people use the correct toilets and making sure the parents of the bride and groom are comfortable, etc. It's not like they have to be at everyone's beck and call but more just keeping an eye out for trouble and stragglers!

10: And your final tip: Shave first thing (let the shaving rash/inflammation die down), be thin, be rich, be charming, don't have bad breath, manicure your man bits and pedicure everything else (is that for dogs?), don't wear too much hair gel or fake tan, no mankinis, don't wear more make-up than the bride (Goth weddings exempt...obviously), do try and talk to your guests and spend some time with your new wife......hey, it's never easy....but it's well
worth it!

Next: 10 Top Tips for Brides